This post is especially for those in my categorized age group 4, which is 20 – 39 year-olds, both males and females. This is the other side of my post titled ‘’9 SIGNS YOUR GIRL DOES NOT LOVE YOU’’.

In case you like to find out your age group and the peculiar nature of your group’s behavior, you may read my previous post titled BEHAVIOR AND EXPECTATIONS THAT PREVAIL AMONG VARIOUS AGE GROUPS.lovers

In the initial stages of every love affair between a man and a woman everything looks blissful like a blossomed flower, but somewhere along the line the bond that held the two together snaps and things begin to fall apart.

Young women have their share of disappointment in love; likewise young men. The girls give it to the boys and the boys also give it to the girls. It’s balanced game from my point of view.

We have already examined signs from girls that show loss of love for their boyfriends (or fiancés) and in order not to show bias for any gender on this site it’s the turn of the boys to be exposed.

Attention ladies! If you find your boyfriend doing any of these things, sit up well.

  1. When he doesn’t pick your calls or initiate one

When this trend happens you may be boring him and he needs a break from you. If he persistently ignores your calls you may be tempted to use a friend’s line to call him but immediately he recognizes your voice he may hang up on you and perhaps never bother to call you back. Don’t worry yourself over this.

  1. When he doesn’t invite you out

What is beautiful like two lovers going out for a walk, holding hands and chatting and smiling and showing love?

You wish you had that kind of treatment from him but it has eluded you because he will no more invite you out. You remember the last time he took you out you had a pleasant time together and you felt loved. You look forward to a similar treat but if the tide has changed, change your swimming style.

  1. When he starts giving you excusesThe look on my wife's face told me it was all over

Excuses are meant to cover up lies, to seek forgiveness or to let somebody overlook or forget some mistake.

When he starts giving you excuses for not doing what he should be doing or for doing what he should not be doing, he is not being faithful to you. You should start being skeptical about his faithfulness to you.

  1. When he doesn’t talk about marriage

The ultimate end of boy-girl friendship is marriage. That is the ‘’university’’ of love. Almost all students aim at completing their education at the university level but due to various reasons, fall out on the way.

So if your boyfriend never mentions marriage in his conversation with you he is falling out and not allowing both of you to reach your university of love, so you have no future with him. He could be just ‘’using’’ you for self- gratification. Sit up girl, and be wise. Do not allow yourself to be used as somebody’s sexual object, to be dumped later.

  1. When he refuses to admit his faults and say ‘’I am sorry’’.

If he doesn’t love you why should he worry himself admitting his faults before you? If your boy lover finds it difficult saying ‘’I am sorry’’ when he has wronged you, lady, beware. His heart is all not for you. Love is kind, love is forgiving, love knows no wrong, and love is humility. Where there is no love the above qualities are lacking.

  1. When he intentionally speaks words to hurt your feelings

When he is so uncouth to be fond of doing the above to you, you don’t have to wait for me to come and tell you to run away. I will not comment on this.

  1. When he easily gets irritated with you

There are people who are quick-tempered by nature. They are impatient and easily get annoyed at others. Such people are expected to exercise self-control when dealing with their lovers. If your boy is one of such people but cannot control himself, beware, one day might be a very bad day.

  1. When he refuses to eat your food

When he refuses to eat your food, his mother might still be feeding him, and you know he might not have matured yet for you.

Food prepared specially for boyfriends have a peculiar taste. They taste good because it may be used to score marks and assess the cooking expertise of the girl.

When your boy refuses to eat your food he simply does not love you.

  1. When you suspect he has another girlsuspicion

It may be for some reason why you suspect your boy of having another girl. You probably find a change in his attitude towards you or have seen him lately in the company of another girl.

Whatever it is, your suspicion may cause you to be jealous and get irritated and begin to behave differently. In this situation there is no need to ask him about it because the response will invariably be in the negative, to lie.

  1. When you notice a drastic change in his behavior

If you see smoke there is fire under it. A change in behavior of your boyfriend has an underlying factor which may or may not come from you.

He might have got a new lover and places you in the background so he does not treat you in the same special way he used to.

The thing with men is that none of them will tell his girl that he has got another girl. Even you will not love to hear that so he will not tell you.

If his new behavior does not please you, and he is not prepared to change, it simply means the two of you are incompatible and so you must advise yourself.

Sometimes you are head over heels in love that you may not be in your right frame of mind to take prudent decisions concerning your love life and so when the imminent finally happens, then heartbreak or emotional breakdown follows.

In fact women are more prone to emotional breakdowns than their male counterparts. Males on the other part can go to extremes of emotions either to kill or to commit suicide when they lose their lovers to their rivals.

Well, ladies, that’s all for now. Be alert now and always.

See you.

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According to the Encarta dictionary, a crisis is a situation or period in which things are very uncertain, difficult and painful, especially at a time when action must be taken to avoid a complete disaster or breakdown.

Many young people, as well as older ones, have found themselves in a crisis period at one time or the other, and what decision did you take if you have ever experienced a crisis period in your life?

The definition identifies the period as difficult and painful and warrants a fast and effective decision to avoid the extremes of the situation which could lead to undesirable consequences.

In a situation where a fast and effective decision is not taken disaster takes place.


A typical example happened in a community in Ghana recently where a Savings and Loans Company had its assets frozen by the Central Bank for having disregarded guidelines and regulations relating to its operations. The frozen assets included depositors’ monies, which mean depositors could not have access to their monies. This situation brought much difficulty upon some of the depositors and in their desperation, committed suicide.

All people are vulnerable to having crisis situations since its all not about money but about life in general. It’s not all suicides which are money related.


Work, relationship issues, conflict, hunger, natural disasters and a lot more can all lead to crises situations.

I am just going to focus on issues which I consider as manageable by you as an individual and how you can cope with them to survive the situations.


I shall first of all relate my own personal experience of a period which I can refer to as my crisis period.

It was in my 3rd year of employment as accounts clerk in a reputable financial institution in Accra. One day my boss was invited by the Police to a give statement about an accounting transaction. About a week later I was invited too. I thought they were going to ask me a question and let me go back to work. But they did not allow me to return to work or home that day. They detained and released me the following day and ordered me to report myself daily.


I went home the following day, devastated. The following day my employer handed me a letter of suspension from work ‘until Police investigations were completed’.


I had married a young, beautiful woman the previous year and she was pregnant at the time this happened to me. She was worried I didn’t return home the previous night and said she thought I had gone to sleep with another girl.

At the end of 2 months stay in the house life began to bore me. My wife delivered at the time but unfortunately for us lost the baby at the hospital.


My emotional status was that of mixed feelings. I thought God in his wisdom did not allow the baby to survive knowing my state of mind and financial incapacitation. I did not know whether to remain happy or sad, but the unsavory condition at the time made sadness rule over joy in my life.

In the meantime I was reporting to the Police twice a week. Each time, I expected them to tell me something positive to enable me to return to work. But my expectations were far, far away. To me it looked like some conspiracy to stop my progress in life as a young man. This, we often attributed to the witches in the forests but not to the Police in the cities.

I needed to get back to work to be able to care for my wife but this damn ‘police case’ was preventing me. I was desperate and the Police would not tell me a word about what was going on.


Soon it was six months and my wife began to show signs of insecurity. She also became very uncertain, not knowing what was going to happen to me eventually. She told me quite frankly that she was just a young lady and could not begin life the way things were going for us.

I always tried to assure her of my love but it was all words as there was no money to back it up.

One day she told me she wanted to visit her elder sister who lived about 150 kilometers away from Accra. I smelled a rat about this decision and told her to abandon her plans but she would not listen. She finally left against my will.

I knew I was partly to be blamed for her decision because I was thinking too much about my own predicament and did very little to comfort her on the loss of our baby.


My next visit to the Police station, which was now once a week, left me in a more desperate situation than ever.

‘’I have seen you. Report next week’’ was all the investigator told me. In my desperation, I felt like finding an object to hit his head.

I walked away dejectedly, determined to find another job for my survival.


Two weeks later, I traveled to find my beloved wife. She had arrived at her sister’s house. When she asked me if the situation had changed, I couldn’t lie and told her ‘’still the same, but I was finding another job’’. Her facial expression told me it was all over between us long before she reluctantly opened her mouth to say it. She bid me a half-hearted good-bye without seeing me off when I was leaving.

It was as if I had lost my job and was struggling about how to survive. Then in the midst of my frustrations, my beloved wife whom I cherished so much, and had expected to comfort me, also left me in the lurch. It was like having double powerful slaps to my face the way soldiers do to thieves who are caught stealing at the barracks.


When I left her all the feeling I had was about was a suicide attempt, nothing but suicide. In spite of that I didn’t have the slightest courage to go near a rope to hang my neck. On my way back I prayed that the bus on which I was travelling would be involved in a road crash so that I get killed. Unfortunately, God did not answer me and I arrived back safely.

I went to pursue a new job and was successful, but was not allowed to start work because I had a pending case with the Police. Oh, gosh!


What was I going to do next? I thought I had to do something on my own so I got a piece of land to hire to grow vegetables. I went ahead to do it but in the end I spent more money (which I had borrowed) doing it than I realized from it, so I abandoned it.

Then I thought I could write something newspaper editors might be interested and so I took my pen and started something. My first article got published and I felt good. It was okay and I managed with that option for the rest of the period that my crisis lasted. I discovered that I was better off with the pen than with the hoe and machete.


On my own accord I chose to report to the police once a month.

It was past some 14 months before I was exonerated. It was a big relief for me though very belated and many things had gone bad for me.

My employers reinstated me but considering the crisis I had gone through I was no more interested working there.

I went to work at the place where I had earlier secured a job.


There are 4 types of crises that can make you go crazy if you aren’t cautious. These are work, accommodation, relationship issues and loss of possessions.

Let us examine them briefly:


If through whatever circumstances you lose your job, you will be under severe stress especially if you have children among your dependents. How can you cope with life if you’re the breadwinner and you lose the bread that survives the children?



When you have been ejected from your rented apartment for any reason and do not yet have a place you can call your home, you can be a very restless person.images-a place to call home

                                   a place to call your home

Just imagine it if you have never experienced it and you can know the level of stress involved.


Love matters are matters of the heart and if not handled well, it can lead to fatality. If a man loses his lover to another man, jealousy can lead to either murder or suicide when the loser is taken to the extremes of emotions.relationship-jealousy-0


Loss of property through fire or theft can bring stress upon you, especially when the property lost is your main source of livelihood.



Any of the above issues needs self-discipline to be able to cope with the stress involved.

The challenges of life are called difficulties. It is how you face those difficulties that determine the sort of person you are.

  • Do not be jealous

Though it is said that there is no true love without jealousy, I am advising that jealousy is a negative emotion which does you no good, and so try as much as possible to wean yourself from it if circumstances make you feel so.

Jealousy can cause you to do bad to somebody or to yourself and in the end you will not profit from it.


  • Have self-control

Self-control is the ability to control your own behavior, especially in terms of reactions and impulses. Sometimes young men try to show off their virility where they feel a situation is not to their liking and like to prove their strength or inability to tolerate ‘nonsense’.

  • Be innovative

When you find yourself in a tight corner be creative to find a way out. In my situation I tried doing many things including turning my hobby gardening into farming (though I didn’t succeed) and articles writing (which I succeeded).

Sometimes opportunities come to us disguised as problems. When you take the initiative to solve a problem you may find that even a mistake may lead to something else to unlock a new opportunity to do something. Some discoveries were made through mistakes.

  • Be smart

These days when somebody is labelled as being smart, it usually has a                                       negative tag like being clever at stealing or having the ability to defraud others and the like.

Being a smart person here implies that you are quick at recognizing    opportunities in difficult situations and can make the best out of the situation to your own advantage or that of others.

In my situation I was smart in taking a decision to find another job.

  • Have courage

In certain crisis situations you need to have courage to take bold decisions that will extricate you from the situation or else you will be bogged down to misery.

  • Adapt your lifestyle

Circumstances can force you to eat cassava instead of your regular yam. You may not always have your desired meal or always be embedded in your comfort zone. During a period of crisis you may not get your normal lifestyle. You must be prepared to forego usual luxuries in order to endure harsh situations which come unexpectedly.


  • Be optimistic


When you are in a crisis, know that it is a temporary situation and that all those difficult moments shall soon pass away. There is always sunshine after the clouds.

Do not be bogged down by the situation, to lead you into misery, but be optimistic and look forward to the brighter side of life.


  • Be confident

Do not lose hope in your ability to do something good. Have confidence in yourself and your ability to manage your difficult situation. Your ability to manage the situation determines the sort of person you are. A robust person is one who is strong enough to withstand stormy times. Be robust and feel confident.

  • Use Time

Finally for situations in which no action can be taken you have no option than to allow time to pass. Time heals wounds and makes you forget pains. At a later time I realized my folly in wishing the crash of my bus. I would have been dead for nothing. Soon I was back on my feet, reliving my life.

Stop and just look back. Try to remember a very painful situation you went through that gave you sleepless nights. It could be some months or years now, how do you feel now towards the same situation that harassed you?

Never think of suicide under any of the above circumstances, it’s a stupid thing to do.

Time also brings changes to a person’s life, but you have to plan the change at times, so it can go your way.



In my last post I exposed the girls with signs they do which show they are taking their boyfriends for a free ride. Check out what the boys also do in the next post.


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This post is especially for males in my categorized age group 4, which is 20-39 year-olds. That is the age group in which much of ‘’ chasing females’’ occur in life.

That group is where much of love activities between a man and a woman occur. That is where and when most young men and women get married.

If you want to get married you must first get a lover, and she must be a very beautiful flower which must attract you right to your heart.

Love and attraction are pre-requisites for marriage and inevitably form the foundation for it. It is not easy getting the right woman who has all the good qualities you want, so more often when the woman understands you and shows a little love you are almost through with it.

There are little, little things that confirm the love of a woman for a man, and there are equally little, little things that give a signal that all may not be well.

It is said ‘’love is blind’’ so even when such bad signals appear, men tend not to have seen it and continue with their pursuit of winning the woman’s love. Perseverance conquers difficulties but not at all times.

A young woman I’ll call Jane had two lovers, Eric and Dennis. Between the two men Jane loved Eric more and this, her siblings knew at home. Dennis called to visit Jane one day and had a cold reception. After that visit she told her siblings not to entertain him if she wasn’t at home.

From then anytime Dennis called she was told Jane was not at home until one day when he met both Jane and Eric. Everything Dennis saw about them told him the two were lovers. Instead of advising himself he continued visiting Jane until she got fed up with him and eventually banged the door at him one day. That ended Dennis’ visits.

Here are 9 signs that tell you the girl you go after does not love you.

  1. When she refuses to pick your calls

When your girl often refuses to pick your calls you must have cause to worry. It is a clear indication she has no time for you. Your conversation doesn’t interest her and she does not value whatever you have in mind to tell her. You may be gradually losing her to another person. It is up to you to intensify your efforts if you want to keep her, otherwise start forgetting her.


  1. When she is always giving you excuses

When you notice that she has been giving you excuses to cover her inability to do something for you or come over to your place, be alert. Such excuses are lies intended to cover up something or to justify why something was not done.

Excuses are given when your girl does not love you but find it too early to let you know of it because she may lose your financial support or some promise.

Take care.


  1. When she refuses to go out with you

It may just be nice for you to invite your girl to go out once a while to have a walk, or just to be together for the fun of it. A girl who does not love her boy will turn down such invitation with some flimsy excuse.

If you have been experiencing such a treat from your girl know that she is all not for you. Think twice.


  1. When she politely refuses your gifts


Gifts are intended to show love and care for a dear one, especially between lovers.

When a man stretches his hand to offer his lover a gift he is simply saying ‘’I am giving you my love.” When the woman receives the gift she is simply saying ‘’I have wholeheartedly accepted your love.”

When a woman, through some polite or impolite way, rejects your gift, don’t cry over it. Go and give it to your younger sister and try searching for a new girlfriend.


  1. When you suspect she has another lover

When your girl’s behavior makes you to suspect that she has another lover, don’t be like Dennis above who even saw it nakedly but tried to ignore it. Don’t injure yourself with jealousy. Walk out from the relationship and be free.

Do you think Dennis felt happy seeing his lover with another man? Spare yourself the agony of feeling jealous. Jealousy is a negative feeling which can lead you to commit suicide. Avoid it.

What made you to suspect in the first place? You might have seen or felt something unpleasant and that may be enough evidence for you to back out without recourse to interrogating the girl. She will lie to you.


  1. When she constantly shuns your company

When your girl almost always shuns your company you don’t need anybody to tell you she doesn’t love you anymore. If it wasn’t so she will try to be by your side to express her love in a way she can to make you happy. She will also feel happy being with you. In the absence of love this is unlikely to happen.


  1. When she openly or secretly goes out with somebody else

The difference between this and 5 above is that 5 is based on your suspicion whilst this (7) is naked, that is it happens live, but my advice is the same as in 5.

  1. When she bangs the door at you, even once


Love is blind, Love is forgiving and love is forgetting. Yes, many, many qualities has love. There are books of poetry about love where you read about all the hidden and unknown qualities of love to the brim.

But when your girl, for any reason, bangs a door at you, not wanting to see your face anymore, it is a serious and a brutal rejection of whatever kind of love you have for her.

Even if you are guilty of some offence, this should not happen to you unless it is all over. And if it is all over, that’s all, endorsed! Quit.


  1. When she refuses to let you meet her parents


Sometimes a relationship can go on for a long period of time and you feel it is time to meet your girl’s parents to at least promise coming to perform the marriage rites soon since you love your girl.

The surprising thing you will notice is that your girl will not be willing to let you meet her parents. She will try to give excuses why you cannot meet them now and keep postponing it.

Young man, beware! If you have had this experience from your girl, sorry the girl does not love you. She is using you for her survival in the meantime, until she finds her real lover. Think again!



I have exposed the young women and will do the same for the young men so that it becomes a balanced game.

Try meeting me here about two weeks from now to know signs which show your boyfriend do not love you. Don’t let him always cheat you.

Till then its adieu !

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All men aged 21 and above, must read these lines and laugh over them not because they are funny, but because they have said one or two of them to a woman before.

To some it will be like revisiting the past, to others the heat is still in progress.


If you are a woman you will recall that your husband or lover once told you one of these things and you felt good and loved whether it was a lie or not. Other women might have seen the lie in those sweet words and probably rejected the love proposal.

Loving a woman motivates a man to say all sorts of sweet and kind words in an attempt to convince the woman to accept his love proposal. The proposal is clothed in sugar-coated words to make it sweet in the woman’s ears.

After all, women like what is sweet and so that is the way men present the package to them. The unfortunate thing is that not all the words said are from the men’s hearts.

It is not an easy thing to endure being turned down by a woman when the love is genuine. This is apparently so because some men have been known to commit suicide after their love proposal had been turned down by women.

All these account for the reason why the words must be clothed in sugar to make them sweet and acceptable. The women expect it that way and the men give it to them in exactly that way. Well that’s how the love game is played, no more, no less.


I remember the’’ middle-school’’ days when one of our mates, James told his friend Dennis that he loved one of the school girls but had not the courage and sweet words to approach her. So Dennis offered to approach the girl on his behalf and Dennis rather ended up befriending the girl.

We laughed at James that he was a coward. He felt so embarrassed and eventually left the school.

Some men have genuine love but lack the ability to express it in words. Women should beware of men who rant sweet, sugar-coated words. They may be lying after all.


Here are ten of the lies that men like to tell their lovers to woo them. Women invariably like to hear them.

  1. You are beautiful like an angel

Meanwhile none has seen an angel to be able to describe its beauty and compare it to that of a woman, yet they will go ahead with that lie and tell her she is like an angel.

The same men will later find that the same women are the exact replica of Satan.

  1. I don’t have a wife or girlfriend

They have to tell that lie because they know women hate being rivals. No man goes after a woman and tells her his wife is at home, except the man is already known to be married. Most women are not interested in married men; they want their own man for security and financial reasons.

Man is by nature an insatiable being, never satisfied with what he has. Even if a man has the most glamorous of women for a wife he will by all means lie to the wife and find a way to supplement his sexual desire outside the home, also by lying to another woman. There are exceptions to this assertion because not all men are like that.

I don’t have a wife or girlfriend means he is not staying with the wife or girlfriend in the same house. That is the more reason why some women clash in a man’s room and then the lies will be intensified in an effort to extricate himself from shame.

  1. I shall give you everything you need to make you happy

The truth is that when a man is infatuated by a woman he will promise taking her to the moon, forgetting that he even doesn’t know where the moon lies and how he can get there.

When this promise, like those of our friends in the political arena in Africa, fails to be fulfilled there you see a storm brewing in teacup. It’s like a hungry man promising to feed another hungry man to his satisfaction.

Some lies are not good to be told, especially lies of promise. A promise is a future thing which is an expectation and so if it doesn’t happen when it should, winds of storm begin to form.

A man who struggles to make ends meet promises to make somebody happy when he is sad himself. A lie told to get a woman’s love doesn’t augur well for the relationship.

  1. I have no children

This lie is told to hide children in a previous marriage when the children still live with their divorced mother and the man gets a new woman to marry. Most women are not interested in looking after step-children and will back out of a marriage with such children. This situation forces the man to hide the children until later.

He will pretend to be some nice and faultless gentleman to the new woman until vital truths come out and then the winds of storm shall begin to form.

  1. I love you 99.9%

This is a phrase popular among teenagers rather than adults. It is common in whatsapp and text messages on phones used by young people.

Well, the adults wrote theirs in love letters years ago at their time in school and if you never wrote this phrase then you didn’t know what love is.

However, it is surprising that the 0.01% has a great tendency to spoil the 99.9.

May I please borrow a joke from Akpos to sum up this one?

Boy [on the phone]: I can swim the deepest ocean just for you.

Girl: So sweet! Can you meet me just now?

Boy: Are you crazy? It is raining outside.


  1. I shall take you to the Altar

In certain communities in Ghana the marriage ceremony is never complete unless it is crowned with a big time wedding. That’s it. The girls like that. If your husband is unable to perform the big time wedding ceremony you are a nonentity, disregarded.

With this trend a promise of taking a girl to the altar automatically scores a 50% credit on the success of the proposal.

The event is big time social wedding with a parading fleet of limousines with tooting of horns, merry-making and all the necessary accompaniments to make it the grandest ever. This comes at a great cost and so eventually some promises become like a political promise.

  1. We shall spend holidays at the Grand Luxury 5-Star Hotel

Pretenders are always around; they are always at their wits end to find means of keeping their status quo to attract the love of women. They like to talk big.

They can speak of enjoying their next holiday at a 5-star grand luxury hotel somewhere in Hawaii just to lure a woman to give in to their love proposal whilst in fact they may be in arrears of rent payment to their Landlords at home.

  1. My Bank Account in New York

Having a few dollar notes in his pocket which he pulled out, a man spoke of having instructed his bankers in New York to transfer ten thousand dollars from his account to his local bankers for a business transaction which could enable him buy a ship if he wanted to.

This entire ‘lecture’ went on in the presence of a woman and was only intended for an exchange of her love.

In the meantime his cheque for GHC 500 (about $ 125) at the local bank was dishonored for a reason you can think of.

  1. My Business Partner in Dubai

A man, in the company of a woman he loves, will speak about his business partners around the world, especially in Dubai which has gained popularity as the hub of world trade in recent times.

He will speak about his container loads of goods arriving at the nearest port soon when all he has is just a small shop located at some obscure corner.

  1. Giving out Money

In spite of much self-aggrandizement which is only a ploy, a man will not give money out so easily to a woman. Such request will be met by postponements and excuses upon excuses because the money might actually not be there.

If you are a woman who is having this experience currently, do not worry yourself too much. The cash you are expecting might not be there after all.


All that glitters is not gold. Some fake things also glitter. Women must beware of men who talk a lot.

Real businessmen don’t talk a lot about themselves or their business or boast to other people except in promoting their business.

Folks, sorry for leaving the site empty for some weeks. I am back.

Meet me next week. Bye for now.

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