REVERSING THE PROCESS OF DESPAIR AND FAILURE IN YOUR LIFE
At the time I was in Middle School, now known as Junior High School, I remember our teacher once asked the class to write an essay titled what I will like to become in future. I remember some of us writing to become Doctors, Lawyers, Pilots and Accountants. I remember writing to become a Lawyer because I had an uncle who was one and the respect he had from society and family members fascinated me. At that time those were the major professions we heard about most. Quite interestingly none wrote to become a Teacher, Lecturer or Professor. And none too wrote about becoming a mason, carpenter, shoe mender or driver, which were what most actually became. Everybody aspired to fly high like an eagle, and did not want to mix with chicken on the ground.
Since our knowledge was by then limited we did not know about many other reputable professions.
I know this was just a class exercise to develop our writing skills, but it could also be a real issue. I wanted to become a Lawyer at that time and so what prevented me from becoming one later in life?
Like me, someone might have an intention to be this or that or have an ambition for a specific profession or to follow some course of action to achieve some specific career in life but may not finally realize his ambition.
You might have a special liking for fair-colored women, or those with big boobs,
but try as you may, you will never succeed in getting one, though such women may abound.
Sometime past, you desired a particular job and waited impatiently for an interview. The interview came on and you did your best but you were not the one picked for the job.
You’ve got a job after being unemployed for long, but need to pass a driving test before, or need to pass a medical examination before. Unfortunately you failed the test.
You were invited by a friend or a Company abroad for a short visit or even for a stay. You attended an interview for the granting of visa and had provided all the required documents, yet the Consular refused to grant you the visa, ruining all your plans.
In all of the above depressing and disheartening circumstances of failures, do you give up on life? No, Sir.
Such situations can lead you to think ‘’is it any good going on?’’ The answer in every case is ‘’ Yes, indeed it is!’’
REVERSING THE SITUATION
We are going to consider steps in reversing the whole process of despair and failure in your life.
Let me relate to you here that when I was leaving Middle Form Four (several decades ago) we were only 23 in the class who sat for ‘’hall’’ (now BECE). Some passed the examination and others didn’t, but some of those who failed became more successful in life than some of those who passed.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN YOUR EXPERIENCE OF FAILURE
Failure can happen to everybody, not you alone, but it does not spell doom for its victims.
There are few, if any, to whom life and everything really comes easily. Even the people you consider as having been born with a silver spoon in their mouth have their share of failures. They don’t have everything their own way.
You may see only the glamorous side of people you consider successful but they have their problems. [i] Professional jealousy, in which a business rival may seriously be working against their progress, [ii] lack of a private life where news reporters may always be on their heels, and [iii] strain and stress, where they are always thinking about ways to protect themselves and their wealth.
So my brother or sister, get rid of those sad thoughts and accept the fact that life is a struggle and prepare to meet its challenges with a broad and open mind instead of anger and bitterness.
FIND INSPIRATION THROUGH OTHERS’ SUCCESS
Failures only delay progress but they don’t derail them. If your first attempt at something fails, you have to try again. In examinations this is common. You aim to get a particular grade but you fail in your first attempt, so you re-sit.
When you read the biography or autobiography of successful people, you realize that many have passed through difficult moments. That was what inspired them to write their memoirs to lead and inspire others.
Let me refer you to the biography of a British soldier, Squadron Leader Douglas Bader (1910-1982). He joined the Royal Air Force in 1928. In 1931 while attempting some aerobatics, (aerial displays) he crashed and lost both legs. Having been on the brink of death, he recovered, retook flight training, passed his check flights and then requested reactivation as a pilot.
Just look at the fighting spirit, it marvels me a lot.
The amazing resilience of the human spirit in the face of despair and failure can lead you to find a new lease of energy to fight to get what you desire if you really want to achieve that desire.
What is this if not an inspiration not to give up the struggle, but to press on with determination and hope?
If you are interested in success, see failure as a healthy, inevitable part of the process of getting to the top. Fear of failure is also fear of success. If you hold yourself back due to fear of failure, then you will be cut off from the possibility of success.
DEVELOP WILL POWER TO SUCCEED
Never give up after your first failure. Develop your will-power to succeed for it is in such situations that will-power is needed with determination to march on.
You may ask what will-power will do when a Consular has denied you visa to travel after you have satisfied every condition and the opportunity is lost forever.
The refusal of a visa will not put an end to your life or your determination to survive. It will rather spur you on to do other things to shame the devil.
Will power is defined simply as the ability to control yourself: strong determination that allows you to do something difficult. Such difficult things include stopping smoking or heavy drinking, losing weight or learning at an older age. With will power you can hit repeatedly at the same thing that you failed to get, until you get it.
The purpose of this post is not to find some magic formula for failures to succeed overnight.
GET RICH QUICK
Some people are inventing magic formulae or software on the internet for getting rich over just a couple of weeks. Inventors of such formulae always ask interested persons to part with some money for registration or subscription. Many of these are scams and I humbly ask you to beware of such get-rich- quick schemes.
Success in life depends upon no short-cut but consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. It is not found in some particular technique, program, ritual or idea. The key to success is you, and what you do in a positive way.
Here are some few practical steps to guide you if you are still thinking about your past failures and in despair.
- Get up and stop pitying yourself
- Read some biographies to inform and motivate yourself
- Don’t give up doing what you failed to achieve
- Concentrate your mind on your objective without distractions
- Devote more time to your objective
- Always be cheerful
- Pray to God at all times