CONSULTANCY SERVICES ON www.ugrowingolder.com

Ugrowingolder.com is a blogging website dedicated to educating both young and old people about some of life’s issues and how they may grow older in wisdom. In rendering this Consultancy services it has become imperative to get closer to readers by taking more realistic steps to provide solutions to individual problems.

In line with this direction this site has also developed a problem solving approach to interact with its readers.

Individual problems are numerous and diverse and this site can’t claim to have solution to every problem.

Specific areas have therefore been listed below from which solutions to problems arising from there could be given.

  1. 1. Counseling/Guidance on Courtship

Courtship is the time of life when a young person becomes particularly interested in someone of the opposite sex. During such a time there is great attraction for each other and life seems glamorous.

Handled wisely, courtship sets the pace for an ideal experience in marriage. But if it is enjoyed only for the thrills of the present experience, it can lead to disappointment and heartbreak.

Young people in courtship are encouraged to seek guidance here for tips that can lead them to the ideal experience in their marriage.

 

  1. Marriage Education

It has become increasingly necessary for young people who desire to marry to acquire some rudimentary knowledge about it first and foremost. I do not know of any place in the world where there is a formal school for learning about marriage in order to qualify for it, but the rate of divorce in Ghana and other parts of the world suggests that something very important is skipped before people marry. That is why marriage counseling is important since it provides young couples with the road-map to marriage and what to expect in it and how to handle unforeseen problems when they arrive.

You can request for specific or general advice from here.

 

  1. Advice on Relationship Issues

Do you have a special liking for someone? The person may or may not be your lover but let’s take someone you love. You love the person but have probably not been able to approach him/her due to one or two reasons. Tell me about it. I shall give you the guidance, or do it for you.

Then also you admire someone very much but not necessarily for love. May be there is an issue which is likely to spoil your admiration for him/her or, the issue is likely to spoil the person’s relationship with you. Is the issue bothering your mind? If so, just drop me a line. We shall solve it.

 

  1. Advice on Family Issues

This is almost the same as 3 above except that it involves family issues where one family member is not treating another well, or some father has neglected his responsibility towards his children, or a child is becoming increasingly stubborn and parents are frustrated.

Are you facing any problem from a member of your family that’s giving you sleepless nights? Just contact me with the details. You will help me to solve it for you.

 

  1. Advice on Moral Issues

Moral issues are matters of honesty and uprightness. If someone has a moral problem he/she is not able to distinguish between right and wrong and mostly does what is questionable. Is somebody not seeing his/her way clear about some issue?

 

  1. Guidance on Careers

Choosing a career in modern times need a careful consideration of how fast your country is developing and in what field, for e.g. technology, agriculture, commerce or manufacturing.

If you choose for example, fishing-at-sea whilst your country is land locked and the government focuses on planting of yams, you are going to be redundant for the time the government decides to shift to fishing unless you adapt yourself to another field to survive.

Everybody has a choice and you can go with yours unless you come to the y-junction and need direction.

 

  1. Advice on General Problems in Life

This is very wide and you may not know exactly what this implies. Well if you have a problem of any kind simply let me know. If it’s not my field I may redirect you to the exact place you will get help. Feel free to contact me.

  1. Advocacy

I am not going to the Courts to do advocacy. What I mean is simply this. If you have wronged someone and need to beg for forgiveness, just channel it through me to do it for you if you feel you need someone to act on your behalf.

 

  1. Guidance on Growing Older in Wisdom

Read most of the posts on this site and you will grow wiser as you grow older.

Keep reading new posts on this site from week to week.

 

MY CONTACT

Name: Ebenezer Awuah

Mailing Address: P.O. Box 27, Nungua-Accra, Ghana.

Email: [email protected]; [email protected]

Tel/WhatsApp No: +233 243 074 011

 

SERVICES

All advice shall be given for free up to 31st January, 2017.

From 1st February, 2017 a token fee of GHC 5.00 shall be paid to MTN Mobile Money account No. 0243074011 before replies are sent to you.

Mode of Communication in order of preference:

  1. Email
  2. SMS or Whatsapp
  3. Telephone
  4. Letter

 

HOW TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE AS YOU GROW OLDER


As you keep growing older every passing day have you ever taken the trouble to find out who you really are? Of course you know who you are by your name, where and when you were born and your parents’ ethnic background and probably your tribal history. But that is not all.

Knowing all of the above is good but not sufficient to know yourself. You really need to know a lot more than the above to know yourself well.

Whether you are 15 or 50 years, 18 or 80 and 19 or 90, you are growing older and need to know thyself.

 

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                                                              Know thyself

There are few things that make you unique among all people, things that make you different from all others, things that make you stand out. It’s not about a bottle of Guinness stout.

May be you have a long nose or red eyes, may be you are tall or very, very short with a special liking for blonde women or those with big boobs with an intention to marry one at all costs.

 

May be you are a fat woman that enjoys being called Mama Thick and have a special liking for afternoon nap. Whilst all these contribute to making you special, a few other things also make you unique.

Your past record of events may be similar to but not exactly like anyone else’s. The grooves on your fingerprints could be similar to but not exactly like anyone else’s. There are a few more things that yours are quite distinct from the rest of people in the world.

In knowing yourself better you can look at yourself from three different perspectives to have a more recognizable view.

PHYSICAL

Your physical self is how your physical body looks, i.e. how your son will describe your appearance to his teacher in an essay class, like the long nose and the red eyes with probably a protruding stomach due to lack of exercise.

Sometimes by accident you may have a defect in some part of your body and it is simple for you to be described and recognized by that defect.

Do you know that there are billions of people worldwide but apart from identical twins no two people have the same facial look? Most are similar but not exactly the same.

 

                                                            Identical twins

A lot of women that stay behind my house like to change their physical appearance by changing their skin color the way a chameleon does.

 

                                                          A chameleon

I am familiar with one short lady. Sometimes she appears faded black, other times she appears fair and at other times somewhat between violet and a color I can’t easily identify. Sometimes the color of her face is different from the rest of her body.

At a particular time both her face and body appear brown and that is it. Describe her as the brown short lady with chameleon characteristics and everybody including herself, know who that is.

SOCIAL

Your social self is how you interact with other people and how you relate to others in your family set up.

Are you an introvert or extrovert? You probably don’t know yourself or you are not sure which one describes your personality type.

As an introvert you may feel more comfortable doing things or solving problems on your own rather than doing it in the company of others. You don’t see anything good with joining groups or associations for business or for fun and think you’re better off and happier on your own. Your interaction with groupings like students or church congregation is brief and may not even like to take part in a group visit to the Victoria Falls.

 

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                                            Aerial view of the Victoria Falls

You think your good manners may be corrupted by being in the company of others and will advice your children not to make friends.

                                    An introvert in a natural environment

Being on your own always feels natural for you. You are not concerned with what others do or say or what happens to them. You are self-centered. At my former school where boys will give a name to everything under the sun they may simply call you ‘’anti-so’’, that is the abridged form of anti-social.

By contrast are you concerned about others and mix freely with people?

Are you outgoing and have a little bit of humor under your armpit.

Do you enjoy working with others and like to show your brighter side in solving problems?

Are you energized by the presence of people and always like to be the centre of attraction or the cynosure of all eyes?

I once ushered a singer to the stage where he was going to perform. The audience had been waiting at the theatre for over one hour before we arrived. Immediately we arrived he began clapping his hands in a rhythmic way with most of the audience, some of whom were getting frustrated by his late arrival, joining the clapping of hands spontaneously.

Some ten years ago I was staying at an Accra suburb close to the new Kwame Nkrumah Interchange.  There was one guy everybody around would come and listen to every Sunday morning in front of my house. The guy seemed to know everything in this world.

He would talk about the latest political events in the USA, the latest developments in European football; which country would win the next world cup and what political turmoil ran inside the FIFA, and which political party would win the next elections in Ghana.

He spoke with such authority such that we sometimes wondered how he got informed so vividly. When he spoke everybody would listen attentively to him.

That is the disposition of some extroverts. They can talk a lot, and lie at times.

FAMILY

                                                     A family set up

Knowing your social self includes knowing the variety of roles you play within your family set-up. In the family you are someone’s father or mother, another’s uncle or aunt, yet another’s brother or sister or grandfather or grandmother.

How effectively do you play the role of a father? Are you one who honors his responsibilities or forsakes them? Being a good father comes with responsibilities for feeding, training and educating your children.

How do treat your nephews and nieces? Do they call you a good uncle or they don’t even know you? Do you care for them or you are concerned about only your own children?

Can your brothers and sisters approach you with their problems or yours is a European style family where each one cares for himself? Of course it doesn’t mean caring on a day-to-day basis but offering a helping hand in time of need.

The final perspective from where you can know yourself well is your personal opinion about yourself.

People know you from the outside. Their opinion about you is how they see your behavior and rate you. On the other hand your personal opinion about your inner self could be a little bit different. You might not have had the chance to react to certain situations which are not to your liking in the presence of people who have already rated you. You could have reacted violently in a situation in which you remained calm or the other way round. It is your core-self which is that private part of yourself no one knows about except you.

It consists of your innermost thoughts and experiences that people do not know and you may or may not share with them.

You may have a low esteem of yourself either because you have met a life of many failures or have a low level of education that is not helping your progress in life. But understand that to have failure in one area doesn’t mean you can’t be successful in another area.

Sometimes what people say about you may have an impact on how you think about yourself. Positive praises livens your spirit up and give you encouragement whilst negative ones bug you down. It is natural to feel so but in all circumstances recognize that you should be happy, and celebrate any accomplishment if you have any, because you are the only person who can understand who you truly are.

Other people’s opinions about you could be right or wrong and does not matter much unless an opinion is purposely formed to tarnish your image.

An example of a wrong opinion is the following situation:

A young lady was asked by another lady who had arrived home from abroad to meet her at a place near the Kwame Nkrumah Interchange at Accra to collect some items which had been sent through her. Whist waiting for the lady from abroad a neighbor passed by and saw the lady standing near a place prostitutes ply their trade and quickly formed an opinion that the lady was practicing prostitution.

In the above example if the neighbor expresses his opinion to others who know the lady they will know that he has a wrong opinion of her.

                                 Aerial view of Kwame Nkrumah Interchange, Accra

YOUR REACTION TO SITUATIONS

How do you react to situations when they don’t favor you? There are several ways to react to a situation when it is not to your liking. You can either take an action to reverse or change the situation if possible or allow time to pass for the situation to change itself. It all depends upon circumstances of the particular situation.

If you are an impatient person you are easily irritated and always rush to do things. You have no time to entertain delays and wish things always go your way but will not always get it that way.

 

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                                                     An impatient person

The patient person is always cool and can tolerate a lot of nonsense which the impatient person cannot tolerate. Both dispositions have their merits and demerits.

It is always imperative to understand that you should not do anything to inconvenience your neighbor. If you accidentally step on your neighbor’s foot, a little sorry you say will put matters to rest instead of asking him why he put his foot on the road.

The important thing is to always act with decorum in all circumstances to show your maturity as you grow older.